Law & Order

Since I spend so much of my tv watching time watching Law & Order and its various spinoffs on tv, I figured I would update about it. Law & Order: Original Recipe has been on television for about a million years and the cast changes all the time, so one of my favorite things about the show is the chance to compare the various cast members and decide arbitrarily which ones are the best. You can really only compare people who are in the same roles; that is, you can only compare detectives to detectives, DAs to DAs, and Jack McCoy to the Batman or maybe Hugh Hefner. Seriously, how many beautiful women are signing up to play second chair in the New York City District Attorney's office? Comparing the female assistant DAs is therefore the best part of the show, so here's my list. Since I'm too lazy to make sure I haven't left any out, I may have left one out, obviously. Also, I'm not going to steal pictures of each, but I'll link to the IMDB pages and you can compare for yourself.

6. Carey Lowell

Carey Lowell played Jamie Ross. She was ok, I guess. Not exactly an uggo, anyway, but not really my cup of tea. Jamie generally agreed with Jack, but she always got all uppity when she had to go to court for custody of her child. The child custody thing was her character's recurring storyline. It worked alright, and I think it was pretty easy to sympathize with her against her lawyer ex-husband who used the custody battle to annoy her while she was working against him. As I recall, that's why her character left the show, but watching the episodes in syndication means you miss little things like why characters do anything, and character development was never that big a deal to the show, anyway. You can find it on IMDB, but Carey Lowell was also a Bond girl. She was in License to Kill, one of two Timothy Dalton Bond movies, and not the better of the two.

5. Angie Harmon

Angie Harmon played Abbie Carmichael for a while. She was almost surely the ADA that disagreed with Jack the most. She was particularly notable for her distinctive voice and desire to seek the death penalty whenever possible. McCoy isn't usually the most forgiving dude, so you know she has to be pretty hard. In terms of looks, well, she's good enough to do some kind of make-up ads, and I think she's alright. Loses points for that hardline death penalty stance, though.

4. Annie Parisse

Well, she seems like a nice enough girl. Annie Parisse played Alexandra Borgia, who was probably the most agreeable (or submissive) of Jack's partners. She's pretty decent looking to boot. Unfortunately, we only saw her for a little while before she (the character, not the actress) went and got herself kidnapped and murdered in a season finale. Really too bad, that.

3. Elisabeth Röhm

If you're wondering, it's Alt-148 to make an o with an umlaut. Smoking hot Elisabeth played Serena Southerlyn. Serena seemed to get along with Jack pretty well, and she had a nice sense of humor, so it was sad to see her ago. I just watched that episode tonight. Having argued with her one too many times, Arthur Branch fires her. Just one more reason not to vote for Fred Thompson. In a little twist, she asks if it has anything to do with her being a lesbian. At least I never saw that coming, but maybe they mentioned it at some point. Alas.

2. Alana De La Garza

Seriously, do they expect us to believe these women are NOT supermodels? Alana De La Garza plays Connie Rubirosa, the latest of Jack McCoy's second chairs. She's got short hair and weird eyebrows, which always make me think she is some kind of devious assistant district attorney robot. I like robots, though, so that's enough to get her the number two spot.

1. Jill Hennessy

Is she the hottest? No. BUT Claire Kincaid seems like you could actually get her, so that helps put her in the number one spot. I think this is due to the slight romance they were always implying between her and Jack. It's possible there was something more explicit, but, as I've said, I may have missed some episodes. In fact, I have no idea why Claire left the show. Too bad, though. Now she's on that Crossing Jordan show which I won't watch just because she's not Claire Kincaid anymore. :(

This coming season, Arthur Branch is out and Jack McCoy is in line for a promotion, or so I've read. This new guy might be alright, but we'll see. They all pretty much grow on you in time, which I think is a testament to the writing, which avoids focusing on characters, preventing you from getting too annoyed with any one player. Hopefully, if Claire's not dead she'll drop by to see Jack or something. Who knows? I smell massive reunion featuring zombie Alexandra.