"Live" blogging

For some reason it is funny to me to liveblog a rerun of a show. That show is SVU, which USA likes to show in huge blocks, leading to me having seen pretty much all of them.

7:05 - They are looking for someone named Anika (sp?) using cell phones. Stabler got in a plug for some kind of 911 thing with cell phones. SVU loves putting public services anouncements in their dialogue as clunkily as possible.

7:08 - Oh noes! She was pregnant! I didn't see the beginning of this episode, so I have no idea what's up.

7:09 - Benson brushes off somebody's question like always. Amazing police work. By police work, I mean being a jerk and making a big show of being offended by crimes.

7:10 - Circle camera!

7:11 - This may be the legendary episode where the Asian tech guy gets to flip out. I've seen it, but I forget which one is which. I just remember thinking it hilarious that the writers decided this minor character should get his own spotlight episode. Usually we get nonsense about Stabler's marriage or Benson not being able to find a relationship because of her job [actually it is because she looks like a dude]. The fact that this guy who basically just runs audio programs on a laptop gets so attached to a case is just hilarious.

7:12 - Really I am just annoyed with Miller and Bud commercials now because they keep trying to convince us that they are good beer. They should really just say, "You will buy this because it is fairly cheap but doesn't taste like Steel Reserve." I would respect them a lot more if they were honest about it being pretty bad but still alright if you don't really care about how it tastes. Beats the Beast any day.

7:16 - I really hate Ben Stein now, too. He keep advertising for one of these "free" credit score sites that is no doubt a scam, though I haven't figured out how yet because I don't care. If you didn't know, he is a vocal creationist, which should tell you that he is a conman or an idiot or both, so I wouldn't suggest using whatever crap he is trying to shill.

7:20 - The budget at SVU must be really tight. They don't seem to be able to afford to turning on the lights EVER.

7:22 - Cragen is always under pressure from the brass. That must really ruin his otherwise cushy job of standing around in his office and telling the detectives that he "wants this guy."

7:25 - Looking inconspicuous in your long coats and black sunglasses, ENTIRE POLICE DEPARTMENT.

7:27 - So that guy is also dead. I'm thinking it is all an overly complicated conspiracy. Commercial break.

7:29 - How many times can they redesign this Nasonex bee without ever making him endearing or not creepy?

7:30 - Finn: "Prints on the dead guy came back!" Ha ha

7:37 - Sorry for the lack of updates. Firefox stopped cooperating for a few minutes. In the meantime, they've managed to arrest the guy who apparently had a guy kidnap his ex-girlfriend and then push a "kidnapper" into a moving car during a payoff. Paula Dean is telling me how easy it is to cook tenderloins in a bag.

7:40 - "I didn't kidnap Anika (?)" A likely story. They found BROCHURES in your HOUSE, dude. Lock him up.

7:42 - Benson: "Baby, baby, baby, baby..." I am paraphrasing. Stabler: "I am going to punch someone I am so angry."

7:44 - Stabler: "She's definitely going to put her money where her mouth is." A joke is too easy here because he is talking about a rather large woman.

7:47 - I'm tired of commercials bossing me around. No, TV, I won't "chill out with Coke products." Please phrase your shtick in the form of a question.

7:50 - Coming this fall, Stabler and Finn are Law & Order: Beach Patrol.

7:51 - I don't think I've seen a single episode of this show where Stabler has failed to mention that he has four kids. I can't help noticing he doesn't seem to own a single World's #1 Dad T-shirt, though. hmm...

7:52 - On TV they always make a big deal of how hard it is to deliver a baby, and then they end up doing it in about 30 seconds by the power of saying "push!"

7:55 - I take back my comments that Mariska Hargitay is a dude. I now believe she is some sort of alien sent to earth to "act with her eyes" by moving them back and forth as if there were a permanent fly in front of the camera.

7:58 - Another hour of police work wasted. I could have told you who did it at the beginning: stodgy, fat, rich lady.

Well, that was fun. Saturday, Saturday, Saturday night's alright!